Alexa serves her Master

Thank you for stopping by, but this journal is locked.

C and i are having a fabulous weekend. yesterday i did a lot of spring cleaning while C got some work done, he stayed in his study all afternoon long and when he finally came out i had dinner all ready for him. he was very pleased and so i was happy. i tried out a new chicken enchilada recipe so i was kind of kneeling on the floor beside him holding my breath as he took his first bite. you see C has very definitive taste when it comes to enchiladas. he said they were marvilous though! yay i can do some things right!

i'm so worn out! the party last night was fantastic. all of C's friends were there and i played the little hostess to all of them. i served drinks and snacks and everyone seemed to have a really wonderful time. when there was nothing to do or anyone to wait on i sat on the floor next to C and listened to he and his friends talk. only a couple of the other men brought their girls with them, and they weren't girls that i knew but they were very helpful with cleaning up. i was really appreciative for their help! it would have been a lot of work for one person!! C originally intended to send me to bed before mid-night, but since there were other girls there he allowed me to stay up too. :>

today C has some things he has to do out of the house so i'll be here alone to get my chores done and then wait for him. he asked me to wait until he gets home to make dinner because he decided he wants to grill and i don't know how to work his big fancy grill!

i'm not pregnant after all. my cycle was just late this month. i'm so disappointed, this was something that i had really wanted and more importantly something that C really wanted. it's not as if we don't have more time to keep trying. we can of course keep trying and i'm sure at some point in the future i will become pregnant, but it's really heartbreaking to believe that it's finally happened only to find out that it hasn't.

C says that if it continues much longer that he might consider having me see a fertility doctor.

i think i'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm learning about how important it is for me to obey C with the little things. sometimes i get caught up in the moment and i think for just a second that it doesn't matter what he thinks about the details and so i just assume and that gets me into a heap of trouble. i hate making me angry with me! and that probably does it more than anything else. it's not that he wants me to ask questions about every little tiny thing. he expects me to know how he wants a lot of things done. it's just that sometimes i think i see a better way to do them and instead of appealing to him and finding out if he agrees, i just jump in and do them my way. at that point it no longer matters if my way was actually better, i've totally bypassed his will and followed my own and that's wrong. that makes what i've done wrong, and it means that i lose the privilage of being allowed to appeal to C when i see perhaps a way of doing things that would be quicker or easier. it also means that i don't get to benefit from his wisdom, the wisdom that often protects me from a lot of things i wouldn't have seen coming otherwise. like yesterday when i fed the dogs. C has always had me feed Ransom before I feed Teke. Ransom's bowl and dog house is further away from the house than Teke's and he'd never explained why he wanted me to feed Ransom first even though i have to pass Teke's bowl to get to Ransom's. so yesterday i decided that i would feed teke first instead of carrying the food all the way across the yard twice. no sooner than i had put the food in Teke's bowl Ransom lept on Teke and they started fighting over the food. C came out and broke them up but i'd been scratched up and scared to death before by the time he got there. if i'd have just appealed to him and talked to him about my idea he'd have had the chance to explain that that would have happened!!